For years I’ve tried to define this word for myself, whether it be things I’ve learned from my father or other male figures in my life, things I’ve read or seen, or lessons I’ve learned on my own. The world has a really good way of making you reevaluate just how much of a “man” you think you truly are on a daily basis.
You may be like most males out there and think things like “well I think a man is tough, he doesn’t cry or show weakness”, “a man doesn’t get told what to do, he handles his own business”, or “a man is someone who puts everything in his life before him”. Not limiting what anyone’s definition of a man is to these, but you get my point.
Many times through out our lives, we as men are tested. Maybe its by your significant other, your job, by your children, family, driving, financial issues, temptation, or people in general. We can be tested physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally almost everyday in some aspect.
And I’m speaking from my own 24 years of experience and mine only. The definition I’m currently holding is this:
A man is someone who has shedd his external boyhood. He has built, to the best of his ability through both external and internal experience and wisdom, a set of core values that he molds his entire life around and applies them to everything he does. Someone who understands and expects that his will power and character will be tested each and everyday. Knowing this, he continues to self endure what has been, what currently is, and what will be thrown his way with absolute confidence and clarity because he himself is in tune and at peace with his sole purpose and being.
Going back to what I said before, “a man should be tough”,
Being tough doesn’t necessarily mean not showing weakness. I consider someone to be tough when they can come to terms with and be open about a weakness, while overcoming and working towards applying his weakness into his daily life until it becomes a strength or something he can feel confident about.
“A man doesn’t get told what to do, he handles his own business”.
This is true as well, however a man should accept and analyze incoming information, opinions, and knowledge from others, cross reference that information with his life and core values to determine if anything is contradicting and then make his own choice to the best of his ability and handle business. Do NOT be a man who cannot admit when he is wrong.
“A man is someone who puts everything in his life before him.”
We as men have duties. We often have people and things who depend on us daily to make decisions and to help them make decisions. And while this is necessary, we can’t let it make us deviate from our sole purpose and go against our core set of values. If we do this we all will eventually begin to lose sight of who we are in an attempt to please everything else around us. You must be in sync with yourself and love yourself and live for yourself, so that you may live and love for others.
Ask yourself “Who am I?”, “What do I truly desire in my life?”, “What matters to me?”, and “How do I make it happen?”
When you can answer all of these questions truthfully, you have a rough draft core set of values to base your life around. Anything or anyone outside of or contradictory to these should be removed from your life. Whether it be a woman, a friend, a job, whatever the hell it is, jusy get rid of it. It will be the most invigorating feeling of freedom you’ll ever experience. A sense of release from the daily ball and chain life attempts to throw on us while trying to hold us from our full potential as a man.